" it was not what we found but the journey itself" (anon)

 New Explorations

This is very much a journey where I see myself as a cartographer responding to the many pathways that suggest themselves, the terrain is constantly shifting as I deliberately change the point from which I have started off from. This journey is very much about discovery of material & process, how one thing informs another, where an arbitrary placement of shape/ colour forces the reassessment of what I think I already know.

The latest works I have discovered are, 'Epidermis' related, imaginary cross sections.

Jag 1

Jag 2

Jag 3

 The Jag series imagine the parting of these layers as the needle is inserted. Domestic scale this time : 46cm x 31cm. As is usual, these three images were started at the same time in order to maintain an open ended dialogue and to allow for comparison/ reflection/ discovery and personal map making. I understand that part of it is due to my printmaking background and working in multiples. Akin to prints hanging from a ball rack.

 The images below show other works in progress.

Cut

Implant

Schematic

Hydration

Arterial Shunt

As the project continues, so my understanding of how little I know begins to grow!

I need to learn more about the act of painting, about my relationship to it and immerse myself further into its vortex.  There are definitely glimpses of understanding but ...

those words of T.S Eliot keep coming back! 

'Cut' 60cm x 60cm, 'Implant' 60cm x 60cm, 'Schematic' 50cm x 70cm, 'Hydration' 70cm x 50cm, 'Arterial Shunt' 64cm x 76cm - all images water & oil based pigment on canvas.

Random Act? Serendipity?

Purpose? Why?  What for? 

These questions  are consistently part of my ever evolving terrain and are without doubt, difficult. The difficulty lies in being able to maintain an open mind in the initial phase of the images development. It is important that a dialogue takes place and that this dialogue only takes place on the canvas. I want the unexpected to happen and to have to engage in a process led journey that allows for the unknown, to ask questions that are about colour, translucency and division of space; that by default throw up new questions that invariably result in uncomfortable revelations about shortcomings and the inevitable, 'what's the point of it all?'  I need to find these things out so that I am certain, the voice is mine. 

Papal Resignation

As is the norm, all paintings start with a colour and a gesture, neither being considered prior to the start and the final orientation is not necessarily how it began. It is quite normal for the painting to appear to suggest a working layout, only for this to change and it may occur more than once in its development. Invariably it is late in the painting's journey that I begin to understand what it is about and eventually work within the confines of its working title. 
Naturally this way of working is full of dilemmas, not least the 'Theme' one. It is important that they do not follow a set path, that the approach to each image is different to the last one, that I remain outside my comfort zone. Why? Because I want the unexpected, I savour the absorption of an open ended dialogue and most of all, I learn.

Division Nö3

Deluge

Elysian Fields

Elysian Fields is a prime example of this serendipitous approach, the painting did not reveal itself until the two red circles were put in to act as a balance to the red above and then it became apparent; the circles became poppies, the dripping paint suggestive of a meadow and at this point I knew what the painting was about. Elysian Fields are the home of the dead judged worthy (Virgil) and (Homer)  a beautiful meadow where those favoured by Zeus enjoy perfect happiness. Naturally there are also the connections to made with Fields of Flanders.

NEW THOUGHTS

SEARCHING FOR AN ANSWER TO UNKNOWN QUESTIONS

It's funny how something so simple can produce what appears to be such conflicting proposals but by default it is the only outcome to a naturally ambiguous quest that I have embarked upon.  What exactly am I attempting to do? Well, at the end of the day I am trying to produce imagery that is my response to my concerns at a particular moment in time but without that dreadful word, my "style." If there is one word that really gets my goat (?) It is hearing that expression used in the context - 'I am trying out a new style,' 'What style are you using?' - STYLE???????? Like it is a fashion accessory, something to change because, Blue, is the new Black! Style over Substance?

An Artist's raison d'être is to express an internal voice, their internal voice. It is this quest to expunge these concerns that creates their, “Style.” It is a naturally evolving phenomena that is a by product of a lifetime’s concerns. Lucien Freud, Rothko et al. produced what they did because they were searching, searching to express an answer to an internal concern. What we witness in each painting is just that, ‘at this point in time I am concerned with this’ and, ‘I am attempting to resolve these concerns’ whether that is about the form or the material itself.

Rant over.

Anyway, here is some new work that has caused me many moments of self doubt and continue to do so.

    So, what are my concerns in these latest pieces? Cells, Shadows, Divisions and Chance.

The reality is that there are a multitude of elements whirling around in the vortex of my mind, a continuous mishmash that is in a constant state of flux - one minute this, the next minute, that. For example, the painting below, 'Opposing Emergence' started out with a concern about the shadow and subsequent light cast onto the wall by the pots and pans hanging up in the kitchen. 

Opposing Emergence                                                                   3ft x 2ft

As the painting developed it began to suggest the direction it needed to take, the shadow was the catalyst but as the paint went on and thoughts were processed the concerns changed. In the end it became about the tension created by two forces and by default the line they created. 

The next image, 'Creationist Conjecture Nø 0' is the result of a random act and the division of space and a need for order, uncontrolled order - painting as an oxymoron?

Creationist Conjecture Nō 0                                                     3ft x 2ft

The next painting, 'Meus painting morbus procui quinquaginta' is taken from a fascination with medical slides and the wondrous images that they make and this is my translation.

Meus painting morbus procul quinquaginta                             3ft x 2ft

The last painting, ' Solstice' is as a direct consequence of the light hitting the canvas on the studio floor whilst it was drying out after being sized and it dictated the first move.

                    Solstice                                                                                                4ft x 4ft

"It was not what we found but the journey itself"  anon 

New works & the nagging demons of doubt

Lessons learnt & the road ahead

Without doubt this has been a very challenging and informative period; informative  both in terms of material handling and my own inner voices questioning the direction that the work is taking.  I know the direction I don't want it to take, saying that, I might just take it along that road to see what happens, you never know.   It is important on entering the studio to go in with a gut reaction to the results from the previous day-  Did I really say that? Did I really say that!?

 Along with the inevitable internal struggle/ conflict the weather has impacted on the work, the light has been too dull and despite my preference for taking the work outside to work on, it has been too wet!!  It would be fair to say that there have been periods of sheer frustration caused by this mix of desire to restate a point in a painting and the weather making this nigh on impossible. Arghh!!!!!

As before, I have had a number of canvasses on the go at the same time and they all have had differing amounts of time invested, one painting may well have minimal editing and another may be reworked numerous times, all of this is governed by that initial opening of the studio door. The previous days work may well have resulted in a, 'Ahh, yes that's it' moment, only for it to be reworked later in the day as it catches the corner of my eye and demands for something else to be said. Of course, this also leads to the, 'shit,shit,shit' phase, 'why, why could I not leave it alone?' and then the realisation that if it had been left alone it still would be there, nipping away.

 The painting below 'La Plage' is an example of multiple re-editing. 

                                                                                    

La plage

 The next painting 'Last Rites' is an example of minimal editing. 

Last Rites

 There is always that stage in a painting's development where the initial marks may imbue the surface with a quality that makes it difficult to restate your opinion and it is this very moment that many artists battle with and it can be the most informative one. You learn about your own shortcomings, and that in itself can be unsettling, there is a moment where you must put your hand up and admit; admit that you out of your comfort zone, admit that you would rather not confront what is staring you in the face and admit that you doubt your own artistic merits.  It's the nagging demons of doubt!  In this regard, there is an inevitable schizophrenic space that the artist occupies because along with the doubt there is the opposite position. This is the 'I really have something to say and I know that what I have got to say is important.'  It is a tightrope, can I get to the other side before I fall off?

                                                                      Fall of Icarus   

Encroachment of Inevitability




Nordine's Medley

Time to return to Ken who is always insightful when it comes to colour.

Up-cycling & new conversations

Why?                                        Because.......................................... I have to.

It might appear like an old cliche but it is true; true in the sense that this project has reawakened an excitement and drive that was in danger of being subsumed by mediocrity. I am aware that it has been there, lurking around the corner, the opportunity that the funding has afforded me cannot be underestimated.

As part of this process I was looking at some old work that I still had, two images that were of the River Thames and I decided that they were not valid anymore, probably because they were never valid.  With this in mind I began to work on top of them using translucent layers, the notion of sealing the history of the painting within itself & not totally eradicating it proved to be, quite enlightening. For a start, I was working onto a surface that had a structure that was figurative and had a right way up, so I put them on their sides joined together and began. It was important to maintain an open-ended approach and to not see the boats, buildings and water. This was taking me right back to my Foundation course and the valuable lesson we learnt about letting go; letting go of the idea of preciousness and time investment, the not wanting to spoil it - we learnt this after spending 3hrs painting a still life only to return after lunch to our washed out works courtesy of our tutor Bill Clark. A very valuable lesson.

stage 3

stage 5

stage 7

stage 9                                              Thames Barrier                                                                               4ftx3ft           

The next image is again an old painting revisited and renewed with an innate response. As always the only way to start is to physically make a mark on the surface, just like a word on a blank piece of paper. Once something is down then the dialogue begins, as a process led way of working I am responding at the time to what emerges and it is this dialogue that leads me to understand what is being or not being said - it needs to be an exchange of views for and, against - naturally, it is not without decisions being taken, what to leave in/ leave out, these usually involve as always the image being around and going on a gut instinct as to what is needed, what stays, what goes & when to end the conversation.

She Sells Sea Shells                                                                                              3ftx2ft

The painting below is a response to a barely started canvas by someone else long abandoned, there being the beginings of a black triangle. It seemed important to retain the presence of the triangle and as always it is about the division of space through shape and colour.
 

Adjusting Newton                                                16insx10ins

Sometimes there are moments of sheer clarity that take you by surprise, you know when things fall into place - brush, mark, colour, thin, fat, opacity, translucency, speed, weight - as if you are witness to events that ironically you are but, are not involved in. ??????????????

Vital Spark                                                                                                           4ftx4ft

New Works and a cake tin ...?

Open studio has come and gone, the public came, the feedback was generally positive and it's time to get on with new work.

Putting the work up and being able to see it in a clean environment is always a beneficial exercise, it allows you time to assess what you have done and what you think/ hope you have done. For me, it was important to allow others to see the work and to see whether what I have been working on makes connection. Do others get it? Do they think its crap? Have I (in the words of another old tutor) just been w*nking in the wind? (30yrs on & it stays with you)

Thankfully the majority of people were receptive to the work and its raison d'être. "Pain" received favourable comments which was very rewarding  and"Ken's Colors" after an audible nibble made sense. 
With the paint still slightly tacky "Step out, into my soul" is the title given to a small triptych by RM from Bradford, I liked the idea that the painting was given its name by its owner and not the artist, maybe there is more mileage in that possibility? Questioning the sense of ownership once it leaves the Artist's studio. Hmmm ....

Finally, I felt that it was important to get the opinion of someone whose work I respect (http://www.marymorrison.co.uk) and to be able engage in discourse around process and context and stuff... aye, stuff, art stuff. It was  a valuable afternoon, it affirmed my belief that I was on the right track. You know, when you are isolated in your garret, your world can become very much your own. ?

So, the latest work has begun and that is where the cake tin comes in. 5 canvasses were primed and ready, just sitting there on the studio floor, waiting; waiting for that driver, that key that would unlock the inertia and it was there outside the studio, the cake tin.
                                                   
                                                      A Circle - Begin the begin  

                                         State 1 - division of space

                                         Negative

                                         Positive

                                          1 division of space

                                          2 division of space

                                          3 division of space

The idea here was to start all 3 canvasses with similar  divisions as a starting point and to allow them to dictate what is needed. By default they have to just be around and when I am not thinking about them, they suggest the next step. 

Both of the images above are about 4 stages on and are at that tricky juncture, elements are working and others are clearly not. I need to move them on. On reflection, is it that clear?

                                         1

                                          2

                                          3

Again, building all 3 canvasses with similar marks and colour.  Canvas below x days on.

                                         1

                     Image above has moved on but it is not quite there, wherever there is?
          I now know these images are cell/ molecular related, cross sections of epidermis.  
The paintings below are in their present final state but ... as before always difficult to get photograph to record subtle nuances on the surface properly.

Organogenesis

Transmutation No3   

                      

NRA interference

Red Legged Scissor Man

Prion No2

Organogenesis  61 x 92cm  Transmutation No3  70 x 50 cm  NRA interference  61 x 92cm  

Redlegged Scissor Man   70 x 50cm   Prion No2  70 x 50cm